My last blog is dedicated to the memory of my father, Manny Goldman. I love you so much dad, and I miss you so much. I wish you could be here to see how hard I'm trying to work at school just like you always demanded of me. I know you won't be here to see me graduate college, go to graduate school, get married, and so many other things. But I know that you would still be proud of me. I dedicate this blog knowing I don't have to come back to this website again, and I can leave everyone with a picture of my family from this summer at the Bronx Zoo. It's too painful to look at pictures myself, but I want him to be seen, I want everyone to know this is who he was. This was the last time I saw my dad in a fully conscious and aware state. I don't have many pictures with my dad and somehow, subconsciously I think I knew I had to take some. I remember even getting angry that my parents complained about stopping in the street in NYC to do it. But it was worth it, because I will always have something to look back on now. This Sunday, I am finally laying him to rest. It's so hard to say goodbye, and I'm just not ready to do so. I don't know that I'll ever be ready. How the hell can you become ready? Every day is a struggle to pretend everything is okay, to show everyone I'm not weak. But the truth is, I am, and it's all just make believe. Thank God I have always had a huge aversion to "airing dirty laundry" in public that keeps me from making a public display of myself. I got that from my dad and my mom, they never allowed people to see anything but what they wanted them to see. I love you dad I can only hope you're in a better place without pain, and where you can be happy.
RIP Manny Goldman, Beloved Father, 7/16/1941- 11/21/2010.
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