Santa, fo realllllll?

There has been a lot of speculation in recent years over whether Good ol' Saint Nick is real or not. Many believe that he is merely a tradition that does not exist. While others believe that it's actually their parents who bring the holiday gifts. More research on this topic should be done.

But really has anyone ever thought about what Saint Nick really does every December 24th-25th?

I mean how would you feel if a chubby old man came down your chimney to give your kids presents and steal your cookies? I mean isn't that bordering pedophilia? I'm just wondering because that would make me uncomfortable and concerned for the safety of not only my children by my neighbor's! And seriously why does he have to take my cookies? Isn't he already getting a gander at my children??? LEAVE MY COOKIES ALONE!!! that's why I left out the carrots you fast bastard