THE four letter word

Isn't it nerve wrecking how a simple combination of four letters can be deemed with so much power?
How it can provoke so much confusion, so much thought, and so many theories?
I don't know whether to high five the person who coined the word "love" or slap them.

There is love towards family, towards friends, towards significant others, a hobby, an object, a pet, so on and so forth.
The most mind bottling is probably the road that leads to relationships. Just like our well known elementary song, "John and Lucy, sitting on a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage" Our society and most in it follows this catchy rhyme.

When someone says love, at least for me, a Hollywood scene pops into my head. The protagonist and the lady of his dreams find each other through a crowd, their eyes meet, and etc. But after having that knocked out by reality what are the qualifications? There's attraction of course, passion, a sense of compatibility, and caring. But there are gray spots throughout the whole concept of love. There are variables, there's math, equations, there's science, chemistry, biology, it's all very chaotic. Our society and generation from the past to the future have this institution of how love is defined and how it should be that has been written into our genetics. And as if that wasn't complicated enough, out pops the word 'infatuation'. A commonly mixed up feeling that some mistaken for love. I know, I've been there. It is I feel connected to the "blindness" some people come down with when they do things they wouldn't normally do with or for that special someone.

My mom has been preaching to me for years now to find someone who loves me more than I love them. Personally, I always look for a balance. Why can't I find someone who loves me as much as I love them? Well, the scale always tips, even thought it seems like something that cannot be measured, actions count more than words. But, I understand why she keeps telling me that, being loved is easier than constantly loving others. It is easier to be found than keep searching. It makes sense and seems delicious hypothetically but realistically speaking would you really be happy?
There would be no rush, no extreme feelings, no fire, just security. While others can live like that, I don't think I can.

My dad also has a theory. He thinks there are two kinds of love. He says there is the selfish love, where you love someone so much you can't let them go, you have to be with them, you have to love them. Then there is the other the one he believes to be the real thing. This love means you may love the person with everything you've got but not be with them, they could be with someone else but as long as they're happy you'll support them. Honestly, I think that is just very depressing. I always strive for that balance. I wouldn't give up so easily so that I don't get a chance. I'll admit I learn things the hard way and always have, I have to go through it, see that there really isn't another way until I give up. My dad often says I'm as stubborn as an ox...you gotta love those Confucius lines.

With all the rambling done, I'm back to where I started in not knowing what love is. You love and you hurt. You hope and are disappointed. But damn Pandora keeps us hoping.