Do You Do It For Her/ Him Or For Yourself ?

This is one of those topics that “rings a bell”. Some people will feel that they are that way and others will just think “that’s right!”. Many people buy things or do things or say things based on what others will think, especially the opposite sex. I use to think that way too when I was younger (sometimes) but I realize that by even thinking that way, I am not “doing it for my self”. I am still doing whatever I am doing for myself but rather my actions and comments are influenced and directed towards impressing others while I am doing whatever I am doing for myself (I am using “I” to mean “you”).

When people go shopping for clothes, they are looking for something that “fits” them and also how he/she looks from the perspective of the opposite sex. I don’t see anything wrong with that because that is the way it is, I think. However, I think you are not doing it for yourself when you give precedence to what “the girl or guy will think” of that jacked or shirt. For example, if you just buy that fancy north face strictly because it is flashy or makes you look “cool”, then you are just buying it to impress others. It was still your choice and you chose to buy that partly because you want it for whatever reasons besides impressing the opposite sex. What makes it a “doing it for others” choice what that you based your decision on what others will think of you and your jacket rather than how well that jacket will keep you warm or how comfortable you feel wearing it. I can give many more examples and with many different scenarios but I will just try to convey the main idea with previous example. Maybe there was a cheaper and even better looking jacket but you chose the $500 jacket because it is a popular brand and it looks cool. The difference is that you chose it according to what others think because that brand is popular and it is expensive which translates to “I have money, and I wear flashy and expensive stuff” = impressing others. You put looks and impression over comfort. I am not saying that looks and impression is not important, I am saying that it is about yourself, your comfort, what is right/fair, and the rest is secondary.

Some people act a certain way for others and by doing that they are not being their selves. “You are for yourself, and not for others”. “You live to live and not live to live for others”. The same goes for what you say and what you do, say it and do it for yourself and don’t do it according to what others will think. Some people might think that in other words I am telling people to be inconsiderate but that is not the case. Things have to be in balance and you need to do things for yourself but with consideration of how your comments and actions will effect others. Back to the jacket example, when you are choosing that jacket you like, choose it for these reasons “is it going to keep me warm, do I feel comfortable in it, how does it look on me”. Don’t choose it simply because it looks really cool and it is very expensive…(I have seen people with flashy jackets that look cool and expensive but they shiver). So the message is: do things for yourself and others in a way that puts yourself and your priority first and what others only think last. That way, you are serving yourself to the full extent and impressing others if you want at the same time.