Nancy also lives in california. My mom talks to her all the time but gets bored by it. All she wants to do is complain about how she is bored with her life. She has everything she could want. Two children, a wonderful husband, a gorgeous house and an awesome career. There is nothing she could want for and yet she still finds things to complain about. Her ex husband started cheating on her after her daughter, marissa, was born. She got a divorce soon after. She then married her current husband Jim when marissa was 4, in Peru. My brother, mom and I attended the wedding in Peru.
Lynn lives everywhere. She is always traveling with her husband and 10 year old daughter all over the united states. They go with us on our vacations because we always do vacations on the cheap. She is an RN like my mother and 2 of her other siblings. She does everything cheap because she likes to save her money. When she was married to her first husband he was in the military. At that time, they lived on the poverty line. She is afraid to one day be there again, so she saves as much money as possible. She thinks jewelry is a waste and never shops off the clearance rack. My mom and I love jewelry so when Lynn is with us, she just rolls her eyes at us. My mom and I shop most of the time on the clearance rack as well, but sometimes if we find something we have the money for which is absolutely awesome, we'll splurge. Lynn only does that on things for her daughter's education. Even when she is buying things like that, she gets the best deal possible.
My mom said when she graduated high school she was told she was too stupid for college. Her two career choices given to her were secretary and nurse. She chose nurse because she didn't want the "secretary spread". If you don't know what that means, it's in the show "How to succeed in business without really trying", it's referring to getting a huge ass from sitting down all the time. She proved them wrong and despite all the money my father wasted of hers and all the debt he put her in, she has chosen to live her life the way she wants. She is 56 years old and works 2 jobs and works a minimum of 40 hours a week, a maximum of 70 hours a week. She was a victim of my father telling her how stupid she was and how she couldn't exist without him. It turned out to be quite the opposite. His world was turned upside down without her. After she got him out of the house, he had his girlfriend call and get a new credit card and racked up many thousands of dollars of debt for her. She is no longer a victim and has been without a man for 10 years. She has resolved herself to the fact that she will die alone because she won't accept being used again. Also, all the men recommended for her on e-harmony and match.com are bikers. My father was a biker and she refuses to date another biker. All the men her age on there are bikers. She will never again deal with those men. My grandparents really fucked up my mother and her siblings. She told me that my grandmother used to pit the kids against each other. They had to compete for love and affection. Some of them eventually developed the ideal that they deserved the love more than others and ended trying to make people love them and given them everything. Others learned to feel they had to fight and beat up and put others down to deserve love.
I am scared of being abused. I was fucked up by my ex. He was 17 years older. We were together for four and a half years and he constantly made me feel like I was stupid. He knew how to hurt me and he used those ways to hurt me tremendously. He held me back from continuing my schooling by making me feel he would leave me if I left for school. I eventually fell out of love with him and left him for the fourth and final time. I was tired of being treated like shit. My goal in life is to have a positive relationship. Get married by 30ish after I finish my grad degree and start my career. I will have kids after I'm married and have a stable living environment. I won't be with a man who abuses me and makes me feel like I don't deserve to be happy. I deserve to be happy and will not be abused and a victim of my situation like the rest of my mother's siblings.
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