Childhood.. Or not.

I really like the discussions we've been having in class lately, I'm very big on learning how people interact and what they think when it comes down to family, childhood, sex, anything! I'm also taking this class called Intimate Relationships which talks about why people do the things they do, for example a girl having sex at an early age because her father was absent. I found it interesting how all the girls have the same answer when it comes to infidelity concerning whether or not the couple in question is on a "break", and how all the guys clammed up and didn't want to say anything because they knew we'd all be on him like a rabid dog. The topic that really got to me though was "What's NOT a Childhood". I started reliving my own childhood in my mind, until professor called on me to answer a question, I immediately drew a blank because I had been in my own head for a few minutes.

So, in my mind, what's not a childhood? Not a childhood is having to be your mother's rock while she cries about her three jobs and a relationship that didn't work out. Not a childhood is having sex too early. Not a childhood is dabbling in alcohol and drugs too early. Not a childhood is being raped at gunpoint. Not a childhood is sneaking out of the house to go drink and coming home at 6 am. Not a childhood is having to watch your younger sister while your mother works three jobs just to put food on the table since her husband stole all of her money, and having to watch him come home strung out and drunk while he tries to hit on you. All of these horrible things begin to add up and steal bits and pieces of your innocence, most of the time your parents can't be there to hold you while you cry.

Do I think I had a horrible childhood? No, absolutely not. My mother did the best she could, she is the strongest most beautiful woman I know, she's my best friend. I love the relationship I have with my mother and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I do, however, believe that the painful things I have endured have made me the person I am today. I don't think I'd be as good of an actress, or as bubbly happy as I am. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter how hard your childhood was, YOU have the choice and the opportunity to better yourself and become who you have always dreamed of being.